Happy “Mass Turkey Slaughter Day” to all! It’s time to sleep late, gorge ourselves on fattening food, play a little football and then konk out in front of the tube watching some football game that half of us don’t even care who’s playing in. Ah, what a strange time of year! This year, I’m staying home for most of the day working on my new novel and then it will be off to a gathering of my beloved fellow super nerd friends where we plan to do exactly what I stated above. Because I like to treat most holidays in the U.S. with a fair bit of humor, here are a few quotes to entertain you while you’re dealing with family drama and indigestion problems.


I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
— Jon Stewart


We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.
— George Carlin


Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
— Johnny Carson


I love Thanksgiving turkey … it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
— Arnold Schwarzenegger


On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
— William Jennings Bryan


On the horror end of things…Kindertrauma has posted a fantastic listing of Thanksgiving scenes in horror movies! Click here to read more!